Always Kiss Me Goodnight

We all have regrets - we wish we'd said I love you one more time, or hugged just one second more. If only I had a nickel for every "if only."

If I had one more minute with my girls, I'd spend it hugging them and telling them how much I love them, how proud I am of them, how much they mean to me and how much I'm going to miss them.

I am going to buy this for Maddy's room. Words to live by.

Spinning Wheels

Did you ever have the feeling that you're running very fast but still stuck in one place? Yeah, me too.

There are so many things going on in my life right now and not one of them show any signs of being resolved any time soon. If you couple that feeling with the general stress of dealing with said scenarios, that explains why I'm short-tempered, pouty and generally in a bad mood.

I'm trying to shake it, by looking at the positive. For example, I've cleaned out my closet in anticipation of possibly moving, so now I can find things. Maddy has cleaned out piles of junk from her room. My kitchen has never been cleaner. My bathroom closet is organized. These are good things, proof that I have accomplished something. I feel better, thinking, yeah, I can do this.

Then I look around at all I still have to do and I get panicky. Wash the windows, clean the gutters, paint the deck, go through the junk in the basement, finish cleaning out Maddy's old room, go through the playroom - GAH!

My good mood is now completely undone.

I've tried deep breathing, I've tried going to my happy place, I've tried wine.

I know there are other bigger factors at work here, the biggest of which is that it's been nine months. In the time it took me to have my babies, that's how long they've been gone from me.

The holidays are looming around the corner. I wasn't a huge fan of them before, and now they are just another in-my-face reminder of happy families and fa la la effing la.

The next few months are going to be hard. I'm going to try to hang in there, but I can't do it alone.

So before I get too far gone in my pit of despair, I want to take a second to say thanks to those of you who help me get through every day by making me laugh, reminding me that I still do have blessings to count, and just being there.

Aargh Matey!

Last week was "Talk Like A Pirate Day." In related news, Maddy and I were seat pirates at the Cardinals game Wednesday night.


(That's us, saying "arrgh" and using our fingers to represent our hooks on our hands. Yes, we are dorks. What of it? )

We started out in our Pujols Pack seats in Section 268, Row 2. Not bad seats, but a little removed from the action, if you will. As the Cardinals had secured their non-playoff spot, the crowd was expected to be less than capacity. Maddy and I decided we'd take advantage of the open seats and see if we couldn't get a little closer.

Maddy's goal was the green seats. A lofty goal, but what good are dreams if you don't chase them? It wasn't totally out of the realm of possibility, so we decided to give it our best seat pirate shot.

We decided to work our way around the stadium, and not just gate crash right off the bat. Maddy and I scoped out a section in the bleachers that was a little closer to the field. We kept an eye on it from our perch high above.

In the third inning, we made our move. There was a reason these seats were empty. We managed to find the section containing a zealous fan. And by zealous I mean baseball was her religion, praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. One chant she lead went something like "three up, three down, Jesus leads his flock and wears the crown." I've heard of baseball being like a religion but she was scaring us.

We moved on to greener pastures in Section 128, along the first base line. We hung out here for a while, chatted with a friend of mine who was in Section 127, and plotted our next move. We were closer to the field, but we could see better seats beckoning.

Next, we headed to Section 148, behind home plate. This was getting into "show a ticket for admittance beyond the barrier" territory. Lucky for us, the usher at that section apparently had chosen that time to answer a call of nature or just abanonded his post, because no one was guarding the gates to Baseball Heaven. We walked right in like we belonged, found a few open seats toward the back rows, and made ourselves at home.

A few rows up, more empty open seats tempted us. We watched and waited patiently, making sure their occupants weren't off on a beer run. Slowly, we advanced on our prey, pouncing when no one was expecting it. Well, not really, we just kind of sauntered down and acted casual.

By this time, it was the 8th inning and we were winning, so seats were emptying out. We wound up watching the last six outs from...the green seats.

Not really, but damn close. We were one row behind the green seats, the closest row the common folk can inhabit. (Thanks to Bob, the usher, for taking our picture to document our victory!)

Maddy's first pirate raid was a success. To celebrate, she got a pony. Because all pirates need a horse.

Free* Lunch

Today, I bought my lunch from the cafe in my building. I got a side salad, big slice of pizza and 32 oz soda. Guess how much?



$5.00 even. Not $5 and some change. $5.00. And you could choose your pizza slice - cheese, pepperoni, supreme, whatever. It was very good, too. It wouldn't be a bargain if it tasted like crap.

Here is photographic proof.

*It's almost a free lunch, considering the price of everything else these days.

I Wish

There is a bit of an age discrepancy between Craig and me. 10 years to be exact. Yes, I'm the older one.

Last Saturday, after the Inter:Play panels were over, we enjoyed the musical stylings of Fundamental Elements. They ended their set with a cover of a song by one of my favorite artists, Stevie Wonder.

I was 8 years old when Songs in the Key of Life came out. My hip and trendy music teacher introduced us to it. She would bring in various pop albums on Fridays. I remember her bringing in Kiss, Kansas, Donna Summer, Hall and Oates. She was tres cool.

One of her favorites was Songs in the Key of Life. This album has such great songs on it such as Sir Duke, Isn't She Lovely, As, and my favorite - the one the band covered.

When the band started the bass line, I immediately knew the song. However, Craig did not. Here's our conversation:

ME: OMG, I love this song! I was 8 when this came out.

Craig: Who is it?

ME: (A bit agog) Stevie Wonder.

Craig: Who?

Me: Seriously?

Craig: I wasn't even born when you were 8.

(I guess I should be glad he didn't say "Isn't that Will Smith's Wild Wild West?")

But by then the lyrics were starting and I sang along - every word. My favorite line - "smoking cigarettes and writing something nasty on the wall. (You nasty boy!)"

So I enjoyed myself, singing and grooving to the band. They did a great job on the cover. I don't have a video of it, but here's the original. Try to resist the jazz-infused funkaliciousness that is Stevie Wonder.

I wish those days could come back once more.

Guest Host

Today I am Isabel's guest host. Click over if you so desire.

Six Things

It's Friday! Yay!


My Life My Life My Life tagged me with this meme. I love memes.


Directions:


1. link the person who tagged you - (check!)
2. mention the rules on your blog - (uh, check!)
3. list 6 unspectacular things about you (okydoky - see below)
4. tag 6 other bloggers by linking them (consider yourself linked: Liz, Raquita, MaLeah, CB, MP, and Rebecca)


*******

1. I go to WalMart at least twice a week.


2. I must have popcorn at the movies. With fake butter.


3. Birds scare me if they get too close.


4. I believe the DH should be removed from baseball.

5. The opening credits of Monty Python's The Holy Grail crack me up, every time. "A moose once bit my sister." "Ralph the Wonder Llama" I'm easily amused.


6. I hate being cold. I'm cold now. Hating it.


There you go. 6 unspectacular things about me.


Enjoy your weekend! Come see us at the InterPlay festival!