Thursday, May 31, 2007

I never know what to say

I got a call from a friend of mine today. She told me that she and her husband have separated. I never know what to say in these situations. My standard response is "I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

She's not placing all the blame on her husband, she's taking responsiblity for the problems, too. She said something that made me think - "I hate seeing him devastated by this but in the same breath - I'm not happy."

At what point in a marriage do you stop living for your husband and children, and start living for yourself? I had to finally realize that in my first marriage. Yes, I know, marriage isn't "all about you," but I believe that if you aren't truly happy in your marriage, it eventually will affect the other aspects of your life. And your kids aren't dumb - they know when things aren't right.

So, as sorry as I would be if they do divorce, if they are happier apart, then isn't that really what matters?

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