Fondue Be Dooby Doo

After a horrendous week of emotional ups and downs, I was finally feeling a little better on Friday. While discussing dinner and weekend plans with the husband, I decided I wanted cheese. Melty, gooey, hot, delicious cheese. Yeah.

How I, a lover of cheese, retro kitsch and kitchen gadgets, managed to forget to add a fondue pot to our wedding registry is beyond me. However, Target came to my rescue with an electric fondue pot for $30. I then spent close to twice that on ingredients for cheese and chocolate fondue.

I'm still working on my cheese fondue concotion. For the cheese fondue, I simmered a sauvignon blanc, added some garlic, then added shredded emmentaler and gruyere with a shake of nutmeg. The nutmeg did nothing, so I added garlic powder, which improved it a bit. For dipping, I cubed a loaf of french bread, tossed it with melted butter and garlic, and toasted it.

It wasn't bad, I guess I was expecting something with more flavor. I used high-end cheeses and wine, so maybe that was the problem, it was too fancy for my Kraft cheese and low-cost wine palate. If you have a cheese fondue recipe, send it my way. I'm looking forward to trying different recipes.

The chocolate fondue was amazing and received rave reviews. I warmed 1/2 cup fat-free half and half, a tablespoon of butter, two teaspoons of pure vanilla extract until the butter melted and it just started to bubble. Sous-chef Maddy chopped up a 4 oz bar of Ghiradelli 70% cacao, and a 4 oz Ghiradelli milk chocolate bar, and we added those, a little at a time, stirring until they were melted. We dipped pears, oranges, pound cake, and marshmallows. Oh my heavens it was delish. We will probably have the leftovers warmed and poured over pound cake slices for dessert tonight.

Six hours until dinner. Six hours and fifteen minutes until dessert. I hope I make it.

I'm Good. Really. I Promise.

A wise person once said nothing worth having is easily obtained, or some crap like that. It's been a hard road we have to travel and even though we though we thought we might be close to the end, now we've got a bit of a detour that we have to navigate. It's a slight bump in our path, and it will pay off at the end. We just have to plow on through.

I know I'm being totally cryptic but my bottom line is this - I'm doing okay. I might even be fine.

Thank you for checking on me, whether by blog comment, text message, phone call, Facebook, or IRL hug. I appreciate and love all of you for your support.

Onward we trudge...

Live, Local, Late Breaking

Good news was received at 11:30 am today. The judge denied the trooper's motion to dismiss. I'm so relieved, I can't even tell you.

Read about it here and here.

So, now we prepare for two trials in April.

Luck and Love

I am a pessimist. I’ve even been accused of being negative at times. My mantras are “what can go wrong will go wrong,” “when it rains it pours,” and “hello disappointment.” How I managed to raise three well-adjusted daughters with sunny personalities is beyond me. Maybe it’s because kids tend to do the opposite of what their parents do. Whatever the reason, I’m glad they weren’t Negative Nellies like me.

Not to say that I’m perpetually down in the mouth, I’m not. I laugh quite a bit. Although now that I think about it, that might be due in part to my penchant for inappropriate humor. It’s also because sometimes I get to the point where I just have to laugh. When the situation has become just so ludicrous, there’s really no other option. Well, I guess I could cry but that makes my face all red and puffy.

Maddy has a great sense of humor. Like most kids, it’s usually when she’s not trying to be funny. For example, I went in to wake her up this morning. It’s St. Patrick’s Day, and I’m wearing a cream colored suit with a dark pink sweater (snazzy, no?). She opens her eyes, rubs her face and pinches me. “You’re not wearing green.” I ask her “How do you know I’m not wearing green underwear?” She replied, “I fold the laundry and I know you don’t have any, unless you’ve got fungus in your panties.” I had to laugh because I never thought I’d be discussing moldy undergarments at 7am.

I have a husband who makes me laugh, mostly at myself. I have tried to curb my tendency to fly off the handle over stupid things, but lately when I’ve succumbed to the temptation, he’s usually looking. For example, I yelled at the dryer last week. Because appliances can hear you berating them for non-performance, right? Even as I heard myself telling the dryer that I was going to kick it, I was thinking “you know, if the dryer could talk, it would probably say ‘go ahead and kick me, dumbass. Your foot versus my steel body – who will win?’” He came to the door of the laundry room and just looked at me, one eyebrow raised. Again, I had to laugh, because I don’t want to admit I was going all Chuck Norris on the dryer.

I have friends who respond to my panicked emails about court procedures with “You’re overthinking. YOU’RE OVERTHINKING!!”

I have friends who share their moments of breathtaking stupidity with me, knowing that I don’t judge because dude, I’ve probably done it too.

I have friends and family who don’t handle me with kid gloves, who don’t censor their conversations with me to avoid certain subjects, and who share my love of sarcasm and snark.

I am lucky that I have an amazing mix of friends and family, who I love dearly and count on every day, whether they are aware of it or not.

So, on this Kiss Me I’m Irish day, I am thankful for my luck and love. Smooches to you all.

Better Now Than Later

As you may know, a motion to dismiss was filed by the trooper's attorney last month. The prosecution filed their response earlier this week. Here and here are articles about the responsive motion. The hearing to decide this motion is next Thursday, March 11.

It has been rumored that emergency personnel were already at the accident to which the trooper was responding before he hit Jessica and Kelli. It was said he knew he wasn't needed anywhere from 3-7 minutes prior to hitting them.

The Post-Dispatch reports it was 11:55am when the dispatcher reported the scene was secure.

Five minutes prior to killing them.

I'm trying to prepare for the hearing and the trial, trying to remember all the facts I've been told over the past 2 1/2 years, I look at the pictures, and wrap my mind around all this so I'm not surprised in court. I thought I was doing a damn fine job of keeping it together. Today when I read that article, and it sank in that it was true, that there were other first-responders on the scene, that it didn't have to happen... well, that pretty much showed me that I'm nowhere near ready.

Thankfully for a few minutes, the office was quiet and I had a chance to just sit at my desk and bury my face in my hands. This wave hit me so fast and hard I wouldn't have made it to the bathroom anyway. Better to just sit here and hope people think I'm just frustrated with Excel than to walk through the office bawling my eyes out.

I'm better now. Stronger. Feeling even more resolve to see proper justice done.

Nap Time

I am in desperate need of a nap right now. The irony is that I haven’t been plagued with insomnia lately. Go figure.

It could be because I’m sick. I’ve been fighting a sore throat and head congestion for over a week. I’d like to be done now with the nose blowing and coughing and feeling like I’m swallowing glass. I’m perpetually cold-my contraband space heater under my desk is going full blast and I’m wondering if I could have my dad rewire it to be even warmer.

It could be because I’m mentally drained right now, and it’s only going to get worse. The last few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster, and my ride may or may not get any easier after next Thursday. Although the judge could decide to “take it under advisement” which is fancy-legal-speak for “I really haven’t decided yet so give me a day or two.” So we would be forced to wait. Again.

I’m looking forward to March 14 like it’s a national holiday. It’s the first day of daylight savings time. It will still be light out when I get home, and not just for 15 minutes. I can get outside and dig in my flower gardens, play basketball with Maddy and take a walk after dinner. All without needing a flashlight.

I know it will be better soon. I just hate this feeling of limbo.