An Update

At certain points in the day, time seems to move at the speed of molasses in January. This usually happens around 10:30am, just when my breakfast is wearing off and it’s too early for lunch, and again at 2:30pm, when 5pm seems an eternity away. Conversely, the hours between 11pm and 6:30am seem to fly by. I think Time skips an hour or two while I’m sleeping, because my alarm seems to go off earlier and earlier every day.

My life seems to be ruled by time lately. Every Monday is another mark on my mental prison wall, marking the weeks that have passed since the closing arguments. We did receive some promising news last week – the commissioner’s report and recommendation was delivered to the judges on June 30th. Now the judges have to review it, and 4 of the 7 need to agree on it. Again, we have no deadline, no time frame, no ETA for this decision. However, we know that it is progressing. That helps.

Summer is almost over for Maddy – she starts school in a month. I remember starting school after Labor Day and being done by Memorial Day. It seems like she goes back to school earlier each year. When I told her today she only had a month left of her summer, she said “do I have to go back? I know enough now to survive.” Oh honey, do we ever really know that much?

My grand plans for shaking up my life that I alluded to in my last post? Yeah, they didn’t work out. I had an opportunity to trade my 45+ minute commute for one that would be less than 10 minutes, but I also would have taken a huge pay cut. As much as I hate the time I waste sitting in traffic and driving every day, we can’t manage without my current salary. So I’ll stay for now and keep looking in the meantime.

I’m not doing a fundraiser this year and I feel horrible about it. I was hoping that the fundraiser could also be a celebration of sorts, to mark the final end of the court proceedings, but so far it doesn’t look like we’ll be able to do that this summer. Perhaps this fall, but I’m not holding my breath.

I quit walking for a month and my once-a-month chocolate cravings became once-a-day cravings. I told myself that it was okay to have a Kit Kat every day if I took the stairs, right? Well, one flight of stairs does not undo the damage, let me tell you. Last week I stepped on the scale and saw a number that I haven’t seen since I was pregnant. And not early pregnancy either, we’re talking third trimester. If that’s not a wake-up call, I don’t know what is. So, we got our treadmill fixed and I’ve been running on it at night. It really makes a difference in my self-esteem. Two pounds are gone already, and hopefully many more will follow.

So, now you’re up to date and I’ll try to be better about writing. I was looking back at my blogs from the last six months, and I notice that I’m not finding the humor in things like I used to. I’m losing my ability to laugh at myself and the situation, and I know that’s taking it’s toll on my well-being.