Why I Didn't Want to Have Boys

The following phone conversation took place between a good friend of mine and her son. No names were changed to protect the guilty.

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Matt: Mom, I just ran a toll booth somewhere and it needs to be paid within 7 days or I get a fine.

Mom: Where are you?

Matt: I don't know, somewhere between Normal and Buffalo Grove, Illinois.

Mom: What highway are you on?

Matt: Not sure, turned off a little while ago onto another highway.

Mom: And what highway might that be?

Matt: I don't know. Hey, Tom, where are we?

Tom: I don't know, I think at some point we were on 355.

Mom: What's the mile marker number?

Matt: I saw 28 somewhere a while back.

Mom: Are you exiting the highway soon?

Matt: I guess so. The sign says the road ends in 2 miles. Guess I'll find out.

Mom: So how do you know you will get a fine?

Matt: 'Cos the sign said so and there are cameras.

Mom: What else did the sign say.

Matt: What I told you, have to pay it in 7 days.

Mom: How much?

Matt: I don't know, maybe $1.00. (*It was $2.00)

Mom: What's the website?

Matt: Don't know that either.

Mom: What's your plate number?

Matt: Can't remember all the numbers.

Mom: Pull over and find out!

Matt: Can't pull over on this road.

Mom: Look at your registration.

Matt: Tom, look in the glove compartment and read me the plate number off the registration?

Tom: Where?

Matt: GLOVE COMPARTMENT!

Mom: How the hell can you miss a toll booth?!?!?

Matt: There was a lot of construction and I was confused. You know we don't have toll booths in St. Louis. Did I tell you no one would serve me at a bar last night cos I had a shirt on that said "I Hate The Cubs?" People were coming up to me saying they didn't like my shirt. Should be fun up here this weekend since I'm still wearing the shirt!

Matt: Here Tom, tell my mom the plate number. (Tom reads the plate number).

Mom: Let me talk to Matt again.

Mom: I am tracking you right now on the Sprint Family Locator.

Matt: Ok thanks, where am I? I'll pay you back when I get home.

Mom: What time was it when you went through the booth.

Matt: A while back.

Mom: Was there a live person at the booth or was it a coin box?

Matt: Live person.

Mom: Did he yell at you to stop?

Matt: I don't know, I was trying to figure out the highway.

Mom: Please don't do anything else stupid for the rest of the week.

Matt: Did you know my buddy got a speeding ticket from one of those planes that fly watching for speeders? You were right, they really do that!!!

Mom: Matt! Did you get a speeding ticket?

Matt: No, you know I can't speed. I'm on court supervision for speeding for 30 days, remember?

Mom: MATT!!!

Matt: Don't worry, I'll have fun. Thanks mom! Bye!