Friday, February 29, 2008
Cry, Rinse, Repeat
So, thank you for allowing me to vent, and thank you for offering to see the movie with me. I may just plan a blogger movie night.
*Hunimbous is an adjective Jessica coined when she was about 3 and was trying to explain a mess she'd made. Believe me, it was hunimbous. Yogurt and bubbles do not mix.
It's the Little Things
Kelli was thisclose to getting her braces off. She was just getting really good at her back handspring.
We had dances, vacations, graduations, weddings, grandchildren to look forward to.
Please God I get to enjoy these things with Maddy.
**UPDATE - I just found out that Jessica's boyfriend has her camera. I'm so happy. It was almost an extension of her, because she used that camera constantly. When it wasn't found in the wreckage or her purse I was devastated. I even had the troopers go back out to the site and comb over it again to find it. So maybe this is God's little way of making me feel a little better.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Enough Already!
I'm not a doctor but I'm thinking this roller coaster weather is probably contributing to the general maliase affecting everyone. Of the 20 or so blogs I read regularly, over half have had recent sickness-related posts. It's running rampant through my office now, too.
Knock wood, Maddy and I have been lucky this year. She had a couple of stomach bugs, but nothing long term. I've had sniffles off and on, luckily nothing worse. I'm definitely counting my blessings. From what I've read, it's pretty nasty stuff.
So for those of you who are sick, I send you virtual chicken soup, hot toddys, warm blankets and daytime TV worth watching.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Today's Blog is Brought to You By the Numbers 3 and 6, and the Letter D
Ms. Royal Bra Fitter explained how to measure for a proper size, and then she took women from the audience of all different sizes and explained how their bras didn't fit, and then she fitted them with a new one, and showed how the right bra really makes a difference.
I was under the assumption that I was a 36C. I mean, I have been that size since high school and nothing on my body has changed since then, right? It's not as if I've gained and lost weight or had kids or just got older and gravity has been wreaking havoc. So I would buy that size and most of time I would be yanking it down, or pulling up the shoulder strap, or falling out of it if I bent over. Did I ever go buy a different size? Of course not. It was the bra's fault. I'd buy a different brand and sometimes that solved the problem, but oftentimes not.
So why did it take me almost 20 years to finally get properly measured? I don't know. I love lingerie and love buying matching bras and panties. I love wearing fun stuff under my clothes, it's like my own little personal thrill for the day. Maybe deep down I was scared that I wasn't going to be in the cutesy sizes anymore, that I'd have to wear those huge white Playtex CrossYourHeart grandma bras with four hooks and 3 inch wide straps, and I wouldn't be able to find cute panties to go with it, and I might as well just chuck it all in and pack up for the old folks' home. And yes, I know they make pretty bras in larger sizes but they just look so, huge. Like you could drape them over a tent pole and shelter a family of four.
So after being inspired by Tyra's show and seeing cute bras in larger sizes, I got measured. Lo and behold, I'm a 36D. I actually found some cute Maidenform bras, and matching unmentionables, and it is amazing the difference it has made. No more yanking or falling out or straps falling off or uncomfortable wire poking or back fat. My clothes fit better, no more buttons gapping or unsightly pooching under my arms.
Here is the measuring chart I used. It has two different ways to measure, and is also for women who have lost a breast to cancer.
So ladies, if you are yanking it down or pulling it up or falling out or notice sometimes you have four boobs (where the bra cuts into the breast about an inch below the top and gives you those cute little top boobs), go get measured. You can even have a friend do it, or you could have your husband or significant other help you, but make sure they don't get distracted. Then, go get the right size bra. It's a life-changing experience. Plus you get to go shopping - BONUS!!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
My Name is Kim, and I'm a Home Improvement Addict
Home improvement is like crack - it's so addictive. You start with a small hit, like innocent new hand towels. The next day, you notice the shower curtain looks ratty next to the new towels, so you sneak off to the store for a new one, and somehow a curved shower rod winds up in your cart. Now you're jonesing for a rainwater shower head. A few days go by, you're trying to fight the cravings, and before you know it, you're picking out paint colors, pricing replacement doors and fixtures, and matching the trash can to the toothbrush holder. Someone stop me!!
I did get the PRODUCTS&cm_ite=1%20PRODUCT&cm_keycode=4">shower head and curved rod and I highly recommend them. The showerhead is fabulous. The shower rod makes it much more roomy, and even though I have a recessed light above the tub, the openess of the shower curtain lets in more light.
What started me down this road of addiction? It all started a few years ago. We had a small leak and the resulting moisture caused the drywall paper to bubble out in our bathroom ceiling and about 4 inches down the wall. I've lived with it since then, but I finally had enough. I called a friend who does construction, and he found the hole in the flashing outside. He said he could fix the hole, the drywall, and and fix my beer can hole in my kitchen. I wanted to repaint the bathroom anyway, so once he fixes the wall, I'll paint. However, new paint just makes everything else look shabby, and now you know my problem.
I also have to paint the kitchen because I'm going to have a white spot where the hole was. I currently have outdated floral wallpaper which must go. Recently, my peel and stick tile floor is looking ratty and some of the corners are starting to pop up, so I'm going to replace that, too. I also want to replace my floral cabinet hardware with brushed nickel knobs. Now I'm looking at a new stainless steel sink and faucet, and well, if I have to pull out the sink I might as well get new countertops. I don't need new countertops but HGTV says granite or a granite look is the newest fashion. I can't have an unfashionable kitchen!
Once I get those projects finished, I'm going to replace a few boards on my deck, then powerwash it and stain it. I don't think the previous homeowners ever did that. I definitely need a new fence. I'll be having a house painting party too later this summer, if you're not doing anything. I'll buy the beer.
One thing leads to another and another and before you know it, you're up to your elbows in grout and power tools. There's a reason it's also known as rehab.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Three Truths - Four Lies - Answers Revealed
1. I have never watched an episode of Survivor - True. I never understood reality TV and the only thing I know about Survivor is that Richard Hatch didn't pay his taxes.
2. I have never travelled outside the US - False. When I was three we took the ferry to Canada from Washington. I also went to Cancun a few years ago without the husband or children and it was heavenly.
3. I cut my brother out of a tree - True. When I was younger my dad would take my brother and I out on the weekends to cut down trees and then split them for firewood. Our house had two fireplaces and we used them to help heat the house. So my dad would cut down the tree, and then my brother would walk up the trunk of the fallen tree with a smaller chainsaw and cut off the branches, while I used another chainsaw to cut the trunk into managable pieces that my dad would then split. One day my dad cut down a tree and when it fell up the hill, the trunk gradually sloped upward. My brother was up in the top of it, about 6-8 feet off the ground. I warned him that I was about ready to finish cutting the trunk and he needed to get out of there before I cut, but he was being a shitass and said "go ahead" and so I cut the trunk and the top of the tree dropped straight down and he fell out. How we survived our childhood I still don't know.
4. I won a beauty pageant - False. When I was two my mom entered me into the Boone County Fair baby beauty contest and I took third. I guess I failed the swimsuit competition. Damn diaper butt.
5. I have watched every episode of Melrose Place. True. I even gave birth to Maddy during an episode and I watched that one in between pushes. Melrose was on Mondays from 7-8 and Maddy was born at 8:10 pm. I was able to give my full attention to the baby after Melrose was over. I still will watch the reruns on Soap Network. It was a cheesy show but I loved it. I wanted to name Maddy after Amanda and I was told Hell no.
6. I was named after a famous Texan - False. My brother, Travis, is named for Colonel William Travis, the Texas Army Commander at the Alamo.
7. I have sung the national anthem at a professional sporting event - False. Unless you count singing along with the crowd at the ball game. I would like to do this someday, because I know all the words and I promise not to go all Roseanne on it.
Thanks for playing!
Friday, February 22, 2008
My Hysteria - Part 2
However, the noises eminating from my wall were the scariest thing I've heard. You know how in a horror movie there's a scene where the heroine is cowering behind the locked bathroom door while the ax murderer is on the other side trying to get in. Yep, that's pretty close to what I heard. And how I felt.
My hero, John, from Critter Control got to my house a little before 2:00. I'm impressed already because he was on time, and doubly impressed because it was horrible weather here. We were in the middle of a sleet storm and bless his heart, he was outside on a ladder looking around at my house for the hole(s) where this thing managed to enter. My house is almost 100 years old so it's not surprising that there are holes.
About 2 hours later, after poking around everywhere in my house, John tells me he's 90% certain it was a bird that managed to wiggle in through a loose board under my deck overhang, and it got up in the drop ceiling in my kitchen and fell down the wall. He thinks more than likely it broke a wing and it's probably dead in there. He did reassure me that birds don't stink when they die because they don't have a lot of water in their bodies. Huh, who knew?
He covered up the hole with a temporary patch, and in about week when the ice is gone, I'll have it permanently patched.
So, that's the story. Thanks to all of you who laughed with me because if this had happened to someone else, I'd be laughing my butt off, too.
*I highly recommend Critter Control for all your unwanted critter needs. They were patient on the phone, on time, thorough, and reasonably priced.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
My Hysteria - Let Me Show It To You
6:55 am - I am awakened by my babysitter calling to tell me that school has been cancelled and her road is pretty slippery. I call into work, and I hear the tapping noise again and figure it's the dog wanting out. I open the bedroom door and no dog. Weird. Must be a lot of sleet.
7:30 am - I am in my bedroom logging on to my work computer and I hear a thumping and scratching noise in the kitchen. I wonder what the heck the dog is doing, and I look - again, no dog. I'm a little concerned but figure it's the sleet or wind.
7:55 - I hear the thumping and scratching and I go look again and OHMYDEARLORDINHEAVEN it's coming from the WALL! WTF?
8:02 am - I call my boyfriend, who is at his office downtown. I know he can't do anything, it just makes me feel better to be freaked out around someone who knows I'm a freak. He tells me to call an exterminator. I start to say, Yeah, like they'll get out here anytime soon - it's sleeting and the roads are sheets of ice when I hear the noise again but this time it's louder and harder and banging and scratching on the wall and AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S COMING OUT OF THE WALL AHHHHHHH WHAT DO I DO???!!!!??? He has the audacity to ask me if I'm joking. ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING I AM HUDDLED ON MY KITCHEN COUNTER WITH MY BUTT IN THE SINK I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP! He asks me (in the slow calm voice people use on crazy people) honey, do you want to go to my house and get my gun? I say no, I'm not going to shoot up my wall! What if I miss and the creature gets out and runs amok and attacks me or Maddy or the dogs? He reminds me I need to fix the wall anyway (due to a beercan shaped hole caused by the XHB), and I say thank you for the suggestion but I will call a professional. AND OH MY GOD WHAT IF IT GETS OUT THROUGH THE HOLE (that is covered by a dry erase calendar board) OH DEAR LORD I FORGOT ABOUT THAT I'M CALLING THEM RIGHT NOW GOODBYE.
8:10 am - I call the first pest control company I can find. They don't handle animals, so they refer me to 1-800-CRITTER. Of course, why wouldn't that be the number? Marketing genius hard at work.
8:12 am - I contact a sweet girl at 1-800-CRITTER. Our conversation goes something like:
Critter Control: How many I help you?
Hysterical Female: Hi, I have something in my wall and it's freaking me out.
CC: It could be one of two things - mice or a squirrel. If it's mice we can put out poison, if you have small children or dogs you don't have to worry because it's in waxy blocks....
HF: AHHHHHHHHH IT'S NOT MICE IT'S HUGE IT'S SCRATCHING AND THUMPING AND OH MY GOD I WANT IT GONE!
CC: (Very calmly) Okay, ma'am, it's probably a squirrel. Now, once squirrels move in they think it's their home, so in order to remove them we need to trap them. I can set you up on our service where we will set traps and do a home inspection to see where they might be getting in, and we will check the traps once a week and....
HF: OH NO I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF TIME I THINK IT'S GOING TO COME THROUGH THE WALL AHHHHHHHHHHH...... (and yes, I leaped backward up onto the counter again)
CC: (Very calmly) Ok ma'am, if you can hold on I will see if I can get a tech out there as soon as possible, ok?
HF: (sobbing helplessly) Thankyouthankyouthankyou
So, while I'm on hold the noise stops (0f course) and I relax a little bit and realize that this gal probably thinks I'm an idiot and I can just imagine her conversation with the tech.
CC: Uh, hi Bob. Look, I've got this freaked out lady on the phone and I know it's sleeting but can you go over there and bang around on her wall and scare this squirrel out of her house.
Bob: (Sigh). Did you charge her double?
CC: (Affronted) Of course not! That would just be wrong!
(Although at that point I would have handed them every credit card I owned to make this GO AWAY!!)
While I'm on hold I don't take my eyes off the wall because I know that effing flea infested furry rodent is going to stick it's head through the wall and knock that calendar off and I'll be staring into its beady eyes and be too paralyzed to run and about the time I'm thinking this I feel something touch my arm and I SCREAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM and turn around and it's Maddy. She is looking at me like I've lost my damn mind and I tell her there's something in the wall and she says "why don't we shoot it?" I ask her why shoot up the wall and she says "you have to fix it anyway."
What is with the NRA solutions today? Look, I don't have a gun, but if I did, you can bet your sweet bippy we'd be using it. And it's probably a good thing my dad hasn't let me have one of his shotguns, given my jumpy state of mind right now. I'd probably shoot the refrigerator if it made noise.
So, my rep from CC comes back on the phone and I apologize for screaming. I explain I'm alone with Maddy and it's scary when something is trying to come through your wall at you. She says she understands and assures me she'll get someone out there between 12-2 but if he can get out there earlier he will. I thankherthankherthankher.
So, as I sit here at 10:00 am, I haven't heard the noise for about an hour. Of course. The crafty little bastard heard me calling in the big guns, so to speak, and it packed up and left for friendlier territories. At least it better run away.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Wednesday Bites - The Photo Edition
Anthurium in one of the many indoor gardens.
Go Blues! (They lost)
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Three Truths, Four Lies
Here you go - see if you can figure it out. I'll reveal the answers next week.
1. I have never watched an episode of Survivor.
2. I have never travelled outside the US.
3. I cut down a tree while my brother was still in it.
4. I won a beauty pageant.
5. I have watched every episode of Melrose Place.
6. I was named after a famous Texan.
7. I sang the national anthem at a professional sports event.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Love and More Love
Love: That the sun is shining today
Love More: It is supposed to be above freezing, too. Score!
Love: Chocolate
Love More: Caramel-filled chocolate Ghiradelli bites
Love: Roses
Love More: The two(!) dozen deep pink roses that currently adorn my desk
Love: That I'm off tomorrow
Love More: That I'm off Monday, too
Love: Taking a hair color chance that works
Love More: Taking a hair color and highlight chance that works (it was a bit tense last night!)
Love: My Maddy
Love More: My Maddy when she opens her Crayola Cutter and says "YES! I love it!" (Whew!)
Love: Having someone to love on Valentine's Day
Love More: Having someone to love every day
Tell me your Love/Love More.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Wednesday Bites - The Valentine's Eve Edition
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Tag, I'm it.
Here are the rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book. (of at least 123 pages)
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.
My book is The Other Bolyen Girl by Philippa Gregory.
"The Bible orders a man to choose between sisters and to stay with his first choice. Anything else is a cardinal sin."
Lord Henry Percy laughed, "I'm sure I could get an indulger," he said. "The Pope would surely grant me a dispensation. With two sisters like this, what man could be made to choose?"
I finished this book before Thanksgiving. I admit it, I bought it because it's going to be a movie soon and I'm very picky about reading a book before seeing a movie. I'm also very picky about how books are made into movies. I'm still mad at The Firm for completely re-writing the entire ending of the book. WTF?
Anyway, it's a very good book, lots of history without being boring. I'm looking forward to seeing the movie, if only for the costumes. Those dresses were gorgeous but I bet there weren't very comfortable, especially in the heat and humidity.
I tag MP, Lynn, Andrea, Frogdancer, and Kelly.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Flippin' Sweet
Thursday, February 7, 2008
The Great Interview Experiment - My Q&A
They are fascinating people, so please add them to your blogroll.
1. What was your main reason for beginning your blog? How did your friends and/or family originally react? How do they feel about it now?
Andrea: This is actually my third blog, if you would believe it. After I took the bar exam and was looking for jobs, I needed some sort of outlet to express my silliness. I did that blog for a while and then in June 2006, my Irish Wolfhound was diagnosed with bone cancer. Of course, being the internet addict I am, I did a ton of searches looking for information about Irish Wolfhounds, amputations, and just personal accounts of having a giant breed dog. After not much success in finding the information for which I was searching, I started a blog about Finnegan's treatment. I only stopped blogging there very recently. He is 20 months past diagnosis, which is amazing, and is doing very well. Okay, phew! Now we are on the current blog. I decided I wanted one that was about a human (I suppose I am human) so I started Fretting the Small and harassed, threatened and bribed my sister into joining me. It's been really cool to have her input. She's much older (heh!) and wiser than I when it comes to life's lessons and experiences. My friends and family are supportive and I have received great feedback. Our parents don't know about this blog though. I'm very stealthy that way.
Lorraine: Andrea started the blog, then suggested I join her. It took a lot of whining and complaining (on my part), but she finally convinced me to take part. Quite frankly, my family was surprised I even knew what a blog is! :-)
2. If you had enough money not to work, would you still work at your current job? Why?
Andrea: It's funny you ask! For some reason, that question comes to my mind often. Honestly, I think it depends on the day you ask. I love my job. I am a consumer law attorney at a legal aid organization and it is one of the most fulfilling jobs I could have. I started out in private practice and it was not for me for many reasons. I probably would work part-time because my husband and I will be starting a family in the future very soon and I would love to be as close to a full time mom as possible. If I won a ton of money, I would probably stop working and give my time to helping abused, disabled, and homeless animals. I'm a huge animal person and would love to save them all. Even the funny looking ones.
Lorraine: Well, I LOVE my current job, which is a full time stay at home wife and mom, so yes, I would stay at my current job if I had tons of money. I might however, hire a housekeeper.
3. I haven't seen The Bucket List but the premise is to accomplish certain things before you die. What three things would be on your Bucket List?
Andrea: Three things: visit every continent, live in a green house with solar energy, and make a positive impact on the earth by decreasing my carbon footprint and helping those (both human and animal) less fortunate.
Lorraine: 1. Take a woodworking class so that I could safely operate power tools. I LOVE POWER TOOLS, but my husband is afraid I will lose a limb. 2. spend lots of time in Italy and France and Spain 3. Raise our children to be happy, emotionally sensitive and socially successful people
4. Valentine's Day is next week. What is the most romantic thing your husband has done for you? What is the most romantic thing you've done for him?
Andrea: If you see here, I am not about romance. It gives me the heeby jeebies. I'm more about silliness. The Prof cheers me up by singing songs, he stood by me during one of the roughest times of my life, and he loves me the mostest. In return, I provide him with a stable and loving home life he missed as a child.
Lorraine: My husband planned a huge celebration for my 50th birthday, had my family fly in and invited all my closest friends for a surprise birthday. He did so much planning, and he was so sweet. It was amazing. The most romantic thing I did for my husband was plan a surprise get away weekend.
5. Growing up, were you a tomboy or a girly girl? Or both?
Andrea: Probably a bit of both. I liked to be outside collecting fuzzy caterpillars but I also loved Barbie and Cabbage Patch Dolls.
Lorraine: Mainly a tomboy. I loved playing outside in the woods or dreaming about having a horse. I did have just about every Barbie available along with a Barbie dream house. But we had to rough it and set it up out in the garage or in the back yard.
6. Finally, if you could chose to be invisible or to fly, which would you chose, and why?
Andrea: I think I would like to fly because I could literally get a bird's eye view of the world. If I was super fast like Superman, I could easily visit my sister who lives too far away and my parents, friends, and brother who are all on the east. That would be pretty cool.
I want to end this interview by saying your strength is amazing. I cannot imagine through what you've been and I wish you all the best. Also, I want to say that I have the best sister in the world and I wish everyone could be as luck as Lorraine and I are to have each other.
Lorraine: Definitely fly, I love to watch the birds soaring around. Where we live is so gorgeous, I would love to be able to fly out over the sound or up into the mountains.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
The Great Interview Experiment
I am interviewing Andrea and Lorraine of Fretting The Small Stuff. I'll post our Q&A when I get their responses.
Wednesday Bites - The Ash Wednesday Edition
*********
Just a suggestion - if you are going to drive a muscle car with V8 plastered all over it, please do something other than 58 in the fast lane. If you don't MOVE, I will wind up putting $20 in my violation jar. mmmmkay?
*********
Valentine's Day is a week from tomorrow. A faithful reader asked if Maddy and I had plans. Maddy has gymnastics and I have an appointment for a haircut. We're so glamorous.
*******
Last week's freaky weather has jump started my spring fever. I'm planning my flower beds, and I'm even shopping for patio furniture, since the XHB has the original set. I even want to MOW. I've got it bad.
*********
Thanks to all of you who stopped by to say Hey. I'm doing good, I appreciate you checking on me. It means a lot.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Just Say Hey
I wonder how many people that I know see me in my building or on the street and don't say anything to me for fear of saying the wrong thing. Unless you say something horribly callous, I doubt you'll hurt my feelings.
A good friend told me that if they didn't treat me different, they wouldn't care. I guess. It still sucks. I don't have a lot of normalcy in my life right now, so just a friendly "Hey, how's it going?" means so much.
Monday, February 4, 2008
In other news....
Here is the story. Here is the official Grand Juror Handbook, in case you were wondering just what the hell a grand jury does.
Fun at PaPa's Playground
We went to my dad's (fondly known as PaPa to the grandkids) this weekend to celebrate his birthday. The weather was lovely, compared to the 8 inches of snow we had on Friday. Saturday was sunny and about 55. Maddy took advantage of the nice weather to play on the swings and seesaw. (The sandbox was wet). She was swinging along, and I was taking some pictures. All of a sudden, she's on the ground with a "what the blue hell just happened?" look on her face. The swing seat had broken in half, and she hit the ground with enough forward momentum to make her slide about two feet. After making sure she was okay, I laughed so hard. Poor child. She was more embarassed than hurt. Maddy has requested that the swings be rebuilt, perhaps with steel seats. She has also requested some padding be installed underneath.
I didn't get pictures of the buttslide, but here are a few shots of her in PaPa's playground. Don't you wish you were 9 again?
Friday, February 1, 2008
Snow Day - Second Thoughts
The effing plows piled up the snow at the foot of my driveway. I have a CAR, people. There was no way I was going to be able to get over that small mountain of snow.
It's supposed to be 58 on Monday. I hope it melts this crap. But then I'll just bitch about the mud.