Saturday, April 25, 2009

Love Me, Love My Cray-Zee

Now that I'm home during the day, Friday is the day I clean house. And by "clean house," I mean move the footstool and cocktail table instead of vacuuming around them, go through the piles of paper and junk mail that have taken up residence in my kitchen, and scrub the bathroom as opposed to a quick swipe across the counter with the hand towel.

I prefer to clean when no one else is home, because no one is in my way. I know that the experts say to fully clean one room before moving on to another, but that never works for me. Case in point - while vacuuming, I'll run over a toy of Maddy's in the living room, so I take it to her room, then I think, oh, I should wash her sheets, and next thing I know I've stripped her bed, and started some laundry, then realize there's room in the washer for my sheets, and then I go to get my sheets and start organzing my room, and all the while the vacuum is left alone in the living room, wondering when I'm going to come back, and the washer won't finish the cycle because the lid is still up in anticipation of more sheets. So, since no one is in the house witnessing my random acts of tidiness, no one also thinks I'm lost in my own home.

However, Craig was working at home yesterday morning, so he could take off at noon and hit the open road on his motorcycle, but I couldn't wait until he left to clean -I had company coming at 11:30. However, he works downstairs, and I had to clean upstairs, so I thought, perfect. I can get this done as if no one is home.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

I vacuumed, dusted, purged the mail, cleaned Maddy's bathroom, then cleaned my bedroom, and finally was ready for my bathroom. I have a method to cleaning my bathroom, and it goes like this: pull the sink drains and add some water and Mr. Clean; pour more cleaner in the toilet; pull the bathtub drain and add cleaner; then spray down the shower doors and walls. Return to the sink and clean each item in that order, then clean the mirror, because you're going to splash it while you clean the sink, and finally, end with the shower. I save my bathroom for last, because by the time I am done with the rest of the house, I feel grungy and a shower feels pretty darn good.

I had all my cleaners doing their cleaning job, and I was in the middle (literally - it's a big tub and I can't reach across it) of washing out the tub, when Craig came in and said "I'm going to take a shower, or is this not a good time?" Although I wanted to reply, "no honey, perfect timing, I would LOVE for you to interrupt my proven scientific method of cleaning" instead I said "give me a second and let me wipe it down." As I was wiping down the shower, mentally grumbling about the break in my routine, how dare he come in here when I am BUSY, now I'm going to have to REDO it because he's going to MESS IT UP, he says "can I pee or did you clean the toilet yet?" "Go ahead," I sighed, thinking he'd see the cleaner and perhaps take pity on me and pick up the brush and give it a halfhearted swipe, just to appease me, and then I heard a flush that happened much too fast to allow for any cleaning, half-hearted or not.

I came out of the shower alcove and looked at him. "Did you clean it?" I asked, knowing he didn't, but if I don't ask, he can't give me the wrong answer, and then I can't continue my tirade. "No, I thought you did," he replied, heading for the shower. "There was CLEANER in it, HOW DID YOU NOT SEE IT! IT'S BLUE!" "I didn't see it," he replied, supremely unconcerned. I would have been concerned if the toilet water was suddenly green, but I'm a girl and apparently boys either just don't care or say "cool!".

I asked, "how did you clean your bathroom before?" He said, "I waited to find you, honey." "Yeah, that explains why I had to use a haz-mat suit and a putty knife the first time I cleaned for you," I retorted, still miffed at his complete disregard for how much he was inconveniencing me. "It wasn't that bad!" he hollered over the water. (It really wasn't as bad as you'd think but don't tell him I said that.)

As he showered, I cleaned the toilet, flushing it several times. I really don't think it affects the water temperature in the shower, but it felt good to think it might after three flushes. Or four.

He finished his shower, and got dressed. He came up and hugged me and said, "I'm sorry for getting in the way. The house looks great. Thank you."

And see? That's why I love him. He wasn't being sarcastic or sucking up, he truly does appreciate it, and that's makes all the difference. Oh, and he doesn't have me thrown in the loony bin because I lose my mind over cleaning a bathroom. He understands I have a touch of teh cray-zee, and he loves me anyway.


Anonymous said...
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Marrdy said...

You know we all have one of these guys that love us when we're crazy. That's why they love us. This post made me laugh because I am sure it is true in 90% of homes in the US!

A Buns Life said...

I would have told him to take his hiney to another bathroom! :)

kristen said...

Growing up, at my parent's house, our laundry room is right next to our bathroom. We used to turn the washer on a warm cycle when my dad was showering and we actually heard him squeal once. My mom and I were brats. :]