Wednesday, July 15, 2009

120 Lives and Counting

Yesterday was the memorial blood drive at SIUE for Jessica and Kelli, which collected about 40 units of blood. Considering each unit can possibly save up to three lives, we potentially affected 120 people.

The cable barriers along I-64 are being installed to prevent crossover accidents. Who knows how many lives will be saved by preventing cars from crossing the median and injuring or killing others.

Something I hear a lot is, "I don't know how you do it." How do I keep going, every day, knowing that a senseless act took two of my children? How do I keep living when two of my beautiful babies are dead? How do I keep from curling up in the fetal position, crying my head off?

I keep moving forward and doing positive things in their memories. It's all I can do. I don't know why they were taken. I hope there will be a reason or a meaning revealed to me eventually.

I do know that the more I can do to keep their memories alive through blood drives, scholarships, tree plantings, fundraisers, food drives, and looking at their pictures everyday and smiling back at their faces - that's how I make it through.

I draw on the positives especially after reading something like this. Even though it's nothing I didn't already know, it still hurts.


Anonymous said...

Congrats on the blood drive turnout. That is great. I read your blog regularly but live in Indiana. I did go to our local blood bank and donate yesterday with my husband since I couldn't be at yours. So make that 126 lives and counting!


Frogdancer said...

If we're caught using a mobile phone in a car without a hands free device we're fined a huge amount and have points taken from our license. (We have 12 points and when we lose those 12 points in a 3 year period.... bye bye driving.)
I had no idea it was legal in America.

Jeannette E. Spaghetti said...

You know, Kim, I don't know if the reason for their death will ever be revealed to you. Every day there are countless, senseless deaths and I don't believe there is a logical explanation or reasoning that can be provided for any one of them.

Humans are careless, selfish and often times not forward-thinking; this is tragic since our actions, good or bad, always impact the lives of others.

As a direct result of Matt Mitchell's extremely reckless, hasty, absent-minded and unconcerning actions, he caused the death of Jessica and Kelli.

As a direct result of their death, you have begun a quest of not only keeping their memory alive, but also helping to prevent such tragedies to others and creating a variety of events that will help a broad range of people.

The reason you do this is because your daughters were killed.

The reason(s) your daughters were killed - I'm not convinced there is a positive, universal, or holy greatness involved; it was a simple act of careless abandomnent which resulted in a complicated and horrible tragedy.

And while much good has come as a reult of their deaths, it's still a shamelss act that was completely avoidable.

Anonymous said...

You do what you do because your beautiful children wouldn't want you to behave any other way -- you also have to be an example for the beautiful, wonderful girl who wasn't in the car.
My mother is the opposite, she can turn every minor situation into a funeral visitation. You don't want to do that/be like that because your daughter will resent you or turn out just like that (which is worse?)
I love your strength. I know some days are really dark. You are an inspiration and make me embarrassed for the piddly things that sometimes make me want to crawl into bed and not come out.

My Life My Life My Life said...

My heart goes out to you and Maddy. It's just...well, we will just leave it at that and say big hugs coming to the both of you.

Anonymous said...

I too have suffered a horrible personal loss and keep trucking forward as you do with tree plantings and such. You just keep putting one foot in front of the other and hope things get better. Keep trying new things. Surely you and I have survived/are surviving the worst possible thing that will happen in our lives, so whatever is ahead can't be any worse than this. I'm so infuriated by the cop who killed your daughters. How does he sleep at can he live with himself. I wish I had a focus to my anger but in my loss situation that isn't the case. Maybe that wouldn't help anyway. Do what ya gotta do, sister. Love ya.

Anonymous said...

I have heard our crazy lives compared to a giant patchwork quilt. From our perspective, the design looks awful and doesn't make sense. But from God's vantage point, it is perfect. The perfectly beautiful design of our lives. Someday we will have a better view of how it all fits together, but not yet. Trust in that.

MotherOfBun said...

That was a hard article to read for me. I can't imagine what seeing that stuff (and his face) is like for you. My heart is with you, girl. You are and have handled what is the most agonizing loss with such grace.

Congrats on the blood drive results. That's wonderful.

Marrdy said...

We finally have a new law here in Utah making it illegal to text while driving. Now we need to get rid of the cell phone calls without an handsfree device.

Blood drive sounds like a great success. I still have not given blood but really need to!