Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Sliding Doors (Or How Not to Act on Live TV)

Last Sunday was our one-year wedding anniversary. I can't believe it's been a year already. In retrospect, we've been pretty busy the past 365 days, which has made the time fly by, but at other times I think really? It's only been a few months since that happened? Seems like a lifetime ago.

Tradition dictates the gift for a one year anniversary is paper, so I decided to get Craig a book he's been wanting to read. There is a Border's near my office, so I decided to pop over at lunch to pick up his gift.

After I paid, I walked through the foyer and toward the doors, but they didn't open. So, I backed up a few steps and went forward again, but they still wouldn't slide open. I backed up and tried once more, this time I stomped my foot in front of the doors, thinking that the sensor was being wonky.

The clerk noticed my predicament and asked if I was okay. I replied, "No, the doors are broken, they won't open." Another clerk who was setting up a display near the door walked over and PUSHED OPEN THE DOOR. WITH HER HAND. Oh my sweet cracker sandwich the doors are MANUAL! They cannot sense my presence and stand aside for me to pass. Color me humiliated.

I stammer my apology to the clerk, explain my assumption, and she says "Oh, that's okay." I'm sure she silently added "idiot," "dumbass," "dingbat," or something along those lines. I don't blame her, I would have too. Hell, I'd be laughing my head off.

I calmly walk to my car and drive just out of sight of the non-automatic doors, then park and start giggling, then laughing, then crying while laughing. Seriously, how do I make it through the day sometimes without harming myself or others? I am such a dork sometimes.

I really hope I don't do something breathtakingly idiotic on Monday, October 4, when I will be appearing live on The Today Show.


MamaB said...

Now that was a funny story to let all of us know your going on the Today Show!!! Wow! I will totally be DVRing that. Do you know who you will be interviewing with?? So excited, anxious and thrilled for you!

Anonymous said...

What's this about The Today Show????

PS I saw your girls' photos on the news the other night. I was at the gym and didn't hear the clip, but it made my heart ache for you knowing that you're still waiting.

Hope said...

Wow! I might actually watch the Today Show that day. It would be a first. :p

Tracy (Oklahoma) said...

I read this and the whole time I'm thinking how glad I am that I'm not alone in situations such as these! I've pulled some doozies! Thanks for the laugh now I'm off to set my DVR for October 4th. Good luck!