Thursday, October 2, 2008

Almost Like Old Times

The dogs start barking and jumping on the front door about two seconds before the doorbell rings. That's my warning. I shoo the dogs out of the way while opening the door. "Hey girl! Come on in...Deedee, get down! Nolan, stop it! Have you had dinner? I've got plenty...okay, go on upstairs."

I hear laughing, cell phones going off, and "oh my god do you remember what we were doing when this picture was taken?" I hear "where is that one shirt?" and "this is such a cute tank."

It's almost like before, when her friends would come over and thump up and down the stairs.

Almost, but not quite.

A few of Jessica's friends came over last night, to take some of her clothes and pictures. It was nice to hear the noise again up there, but there was something huge missing. A distinct laugh, a particular voice, no one saying "Kelli! Did you wear my Abercrombie shirt? Maddy! Get out!"

As I cleaned up the dinner dishes, I realized I'd make one of Jessica's and Kelli's favorite dinners. We had roast, mashed potatoes, Velveeta macaroni and Hawaiian rolls. Of course, by favorite, I mean they would deign to take the smallest sliver of beef, but fill their plates with the rest. Kelli could eat two helpings of macaroni and all of those rolls if I let her. Jessica could polish off a huge bowl of potatoes by herself. I didn't make it intentionally, but maybe somehow they guided me.

I stayed downstairs while they went through her clothes, listening to the noise and feeling, for a little bit, like it was almost the same.


A Buns Life said...

That was so strong and good of you to let them come over and do that....I hope you were/are doing ok.....hugs.

MamaB said...

I just want to jump through the computer and give you a huge hug right now! That had to be very hard to do! Your inner strength and faith is beyond works!

Frogdancer said...

Good on you.
That was a lovely thing you did for her friends.
(And just what in tarnation is Velveeta????)
See? I can use Americanisms...

Jill of All Trades said...

I so admire your strength. What a challenge, but must help to move forward.

My Life My Life My Life said... are so full of that. I pray for your peace and strength in the coming months.

Marie said...

Dear Kim, I found you via Kelly's blog (Roaring through my Twenties)but haven't commented until now. On one hand, your post is heartbreaking--the thought of having to give away the stuff of a child hits a little too close to home. (I have a 25 year old with terminal ovarian cancer...) On the other hand, what a lovely way to honor your daughter and her relationships with other young women.

You are so wise to acknowledge and own the grief you feel now and will feel in the future. Like you said, its only been 9 months; 9 months is such a short time but someone you've gotten through it. Hugs to you from far away.

Anonymous said...

Kim, the hugs and prays are being said. You'll get through this, and we'll all be here to help out as we can. Thanks for sharing your girls with us.

MaLeah said...

This is such a sweet and touching post. I'm sure Jessica would have been so proud of you for sharing her things with her friends. I'm sure her friends will treasure her things always! And the dinner? I'm sure it was no coincidence! They were right there with you, I'm sure!

Marrdy said...

What a sweet post. I have been thinking about you alot lately wondering if you were doing OK.

What fun to have some old friends stop by. And nice to have some giggling going on. That is good for the soul.

Kelli said...

What a beautiful post. Sending hugs and strength your way.